Parents kick 17-year-old brother out of house for telling 15-year-old sister that she's their favorite child: 'The favoritism mostly showed in them spoiling her and dedicating 1:1 time for her while they never made much of an effort with me'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jan 2, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Feelings of siblings receiving preferential treatment can be difficult to manage when you're a kid or a teen. Whether or not that preferential treatment is real or is actually happening isn't always clear. But our thoughts are our experience of the world; hence, it feels real to us all the same, and, as with anything like this in life, the reality probably lies somewhere in between.

The effects of favoritism, whether perceived or actual, can be felt long after the "kids" involved have entered adulthood, with these feelings affecting the dynamics of relationships long afterward, with resentment being felt for this never really resolving on their own.

So, it's important for parents to consider situations where favoritism might be felt and to manage their kid's feelings about this carefully. It's not possible, of course, to raise kids in a completely equal way, but parents need to approach handling their children in an equitable way at least. But, of course, we're all only human, so sometimes, when our kids are in a phase of their life when they're acting out of turn, it can be difficult to manage our own feelings as parents and parent our kids in a way that is impartial and without lashing back out against them. Similarly, each kid has different desires and motivations that might require more or less input from the parents, further complicating the prospect of equal parenting.

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    Cheezburger Image 10449597184
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When this teen raised his feelings of being overshadowed by his sister, who he felt was openly favored by his parents, it led to a confrontation between him and his sister. When he called his sister out for acting entitled despite being the preferred child, it prompted his parents to side with his sister and act in the worst way possible, forcing him out of the house to go and stay with his grandparents.

    Now, the teen is wondering if he is in the wrong for snapping at his sister and has appealed to this online community to see whether or not he was in the wrong for his comments.

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    Cheezburger Image 10449597440
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for telling my sister she can't be everyone's favorite and being our parents favorite should be enough? I (17m) fought with my sister (15f) the other day and got kicked out by my parents because of it. I might have gone too far so I'm here to find out.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    The teen feels like his sister is always at the forefront of his parents' minds

    My parents treated my sister like the favorite. She was the kid who couldn't get into trouble, who could wrap them around her finger and get away with hl. But the favoritism mostly showed in them spoiling her and dedicating 1:1 time for her while they never made much of an effort with me. She gets pulled out of school early usually 1-2 times a month for a hang out with one of our parents, and sometimes they pull her out for family time. I never get pulled out of school for stuff like that.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    Favoring her in most situations

    My parents make a bigger deal out of my sister's birthday and she gets a choice for her birthday parties. I always had to go for what my parents chose for me. Sometimes they just let my sister choose what we should do for my birthday and there are 5 years I can easily say the birthday was for her and not me because I hated it.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    One time it was this tea party place. Another time it was a spa. Like yeah I was there but it wasn't about me. When we were way younger the other thing was she had to get at least two presents to open during my party or someone else's party.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    My parents always talk about how proud they are of my sister. They have pinned her art on our schedule board. They post about every report card she gets. My grades are better and more consistent but she still gets all the praise.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    My sister could be invited for an all girl cousin sleepover. My parents never let me go to an all boy one unless my sister could be invited. Another thing was aunts and uncles could invite her to hang out with cousins without me but not me without her.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    The only people who were allowed to have just me were my paternal grandparents. They fought my parents to have special time with me. They always try to make me feel less. unwanted. They spoil me a little. They show up to support me every time I have a competition I'm in and sometimes they can get other family
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    to come too. They always make sure I get a wanted birthday present and Christmas present because my parents don't make the same effort, while my sister might get 5 to 6 wants each time.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    They tried to include my sister sometimes but she never wanted to come and they never pushed it. But she was invited and my grandparents didn't completely ignore her. My sister has gloated about our parents not getting me any good presents or about how she has all the control for my birthday celebrations. Or that I never get to pick the takeout place like she does (sometimes). She said our parents don't like spending time with me either since I never join in on family stuff.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    She's jealous about it now and has bitched to me about it since September 20th when she wanted me to know it wasn't fair I was getting so much cool stuff from them when she got nothing. The thing she complained about was a refurbished $150 laptop they got me for school before Christmas because my parents wouldn't replace my old one (that my grandparents bought) and they weren't okay with me using the family
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    computer. But guess who could use mine when hers broke? Yeah... Anyway, she bitched about it and then bitched even more when I got stuff to customize my PS5 and some other stuff for Christmas. She told me they never get her all the cool stuff she wants. She complained about it and then the other day I snapped when she told me I'm so the favorite and how that is and how much I
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    S k and they sk for having a favorite. She said she didn't do anything to not be. I told her she can't be everyone's favorite and being our parents favorite should be enough. My sister told me I was a j for saying that and I told her at least I'm not a selfish, entitled princess and she already gets practically everything she wants off her wish list.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    so why is she complaining when I get one or two things that I want. I told her she knows our parents don't do sh for me. I told her she's not even a good sister but at least she's their favorite, right? She started screaming at the top of her lungs that she hated me and our parents came in and asked what the fight was about and when they heard I called her their favorite and told her she can't be everyone's favorite they said I needed to leave.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    I'm at my grandparents house and my sister texted me once saying I had no right to say all those mean things to her and I hurt her feelings. AITA?
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    Members of the community weighed in with their thoughts on the situation

    MarathonRabbit69 NTA, this is a pretty standard sibling argument. Your parents kicked you out of the house for this? They and your sister are complete pieces of sh...
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    Appropriate_Tea_26... . 7h ago You are most definitely not the a h_le! I understand what it's like to not be included and to have a favorite sibling. It's rough! Your parents are and I'm sorry that's the hand you were dealt.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    Glittering Habit_161 .7h ago • NTA and frankly this is your parents' fault. Your parents should have let you choose what you wanted to do for your birthdays and let you go to all boys' sleepovers without your sister.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    lanette01 • 7h ago NTA. Your parents proved your point by kicking you out.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    kirinspeaks ⚫ 7h ago • . NTA. And depending on where you live, your parents likely did something illegal when kicking you out since you're a minor.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    winterworld561 6h ago • • Your parents don't seem to realise it but they are actually up her life. They take her out of school regularly meaning she is missing important lessons when she is at the point of important exams etc coming up. They are raising her spoilt so she won't have the life skills to get her anywhere in life on her own. She will grow up clueless and with hardly any qualifications. It's going to massively backfire on all three of them.
    via Just-Scallion-1724
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    RJack151 .7h ago NTA. Stay with your grandparents, your parents and sis are AHs.
    via Just-Scallion-1724

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